So, I haven't blogged in awhile - and really, I haven't had a whole lot to say.
My husband got a job. Yeppers. I should have been totally excited, but I wasn't. It paid too little for us to survive, and it was in a field that I knew he was too kind and compassionate to be in. But, regardless, a job is a job and we must pay our bills.
Easter was fantastic - I think we did as best of job as we could hammering it into our kids' consciences that Easter is about Jesus and not about the bunny - although that darn bunny always brings chocolate and then ruins all our hard work. Thinking maybe the bunny will take a sabbatical next year...thoughts?
Then on the first day of the new job, a job that Dave interviewed for over a month ago emails him and tells him they are interested. So, I'm feeling good about it - and now we have heard nothing. Seriously? Seriously. Yet, I wait and my hope is in the Lord...not a job...not this job...not any job. It's in God - and whatever job Dave gets will ultimately be of the Lord since obviously talent and experience counts for nothing during this stupid economy.
I've had four days of Dave being at work. It has been nice to get back into our routine - where the house and the kids are mine during the day...you know, the routine where my hubby is busy doing his hubby-esque things while I take care of the kids and hopefully the house? Four days, friends.
And today he lost his job.
Because, as I pointed out in my previous paragraph, he was too kind and compassionate. Darn kindness and compassion. Oh well. So, now I'm praying for that job we are still waiting to hear on lets us know something. Anything.
And can I please say something that makes me want to scream, since there really is no point to this post other than my whining of sorts and complaining?
GOD IS GOOD AND FAITHFUL AND LOVING ALL OF THE TIME. Just because you are having a bad day, or a bad month or a bad year...He is still God. And it makes me want to scream as I read other people posting their issues all over Facebook as if they are dying, because their jobs pay too little or they got in a fight with their spouse, or their friends were mean. God doesn't change, and how fickle you are to question that on a day that your hair wont style the way you want it to. Come on.
I have four kids. 2 of whom are about to have a birthday party at the end of May that I have no idea how we are going to pay for. 2 of whom are going to school this fall and the thought of buying school clothes frighten me because I have no idea how we will afford those and I don't want our kids to go to school looking like they got the left overs from a thrift store. I have a husband who has a medical condition that stress makes worse, and the constant stress of knowing where the money is going to come from right now could take a toll far greater than your stupid spat with your husband. GET OVER IT. God is good. And faithful. And He will protect us, and provide for us, and love us - even when we are doubtful. But to doubt over such small things? Come on!
My problems are inconsequential too. Really, they are. I heard of a mommy and a daddy last week who found out their baby is developing with no lungs in utero. Now that is a moment where you can question the goodness, and the love, and the kindness of God. Yet, He still remains good, and loving and kind. Maybe He will work a miracle, maybe He wont...Yet He remains God.
Ok, I'm done with my rant for no good reason - and I'm going to enjoy this 6th almost 7th straight month of cruddy weather, and rest to the best of my ability in the fact that God sees me. He sees my heart. He sees my children. He sees my precious husband. If God sees me and loves me, I will be ok.