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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Best friends forever if I have anything to say about it.

Four kids and a hubby sick with coughs and I decide to have a play date today.  I'm that good.  No actually, I'm that insane.

Yes, I told their mom they were sick before she brought them to my germ infested mansion.  At some point after a multitude of children, I think you aren't so paranoid anymore about germs.  Don't all little kids have perpetual runny noses?  Ok, back to the point...

Anyway, my kids had fun with their new friends but it happened again!!!  "It" would be when Emma leaves Luke in the dust for her new friends and then they leave him out or do things Emma knows will make Luke mad.  "It" drives me crazy.

Emma and Luke are best friends.  They hold hands when they are scared, they sit next to each other when they are shy, they jump up and down together when they are excited.  They even refer to each other as "my Luke" and "my Emma."  I have pounded it into their heads since they could understand words that they were each others "forever best friends."

So, today as it was happening again, I pulled Emma aside.
"Emma, who is your best friend?"
"This boy," as she points to her new friend whom she obviously doesn't remember his name.
"No, who is your forever best friend?"
"Luke," she says with a voice that screams "I know the lecture is coming."
"Even though it's fun to make new friends you can't be mean to your forever best friend.  Because when your new friend goes home, Luke will still be here.  You must be kind."
"Yes Mommy."

I think I'm doing a good job facilitating friendships among the kids.  We often will go around the table saying nice things about each other.  I encourage them to show compassion to each other when one gets hurt.  I promote play time together without me refereeing.  All in all, they are best friends...

Well, that is except when they are screaming, pinching, hitting, or ignoring each other.  "They" includes Lily as well.  Will is loved by everyone at this point, well, maybe except for Lily at times...but back to the subject.  In those moments I fear relationships between them as adults filled with anger and resentment...ooh, I hope I am not fostering that!  But alas, my brothers never lived with me so in theory I'm an only child and so I'm not sure what's normal and what's not...so I tend to over react.  I think.

But my favorite moments with four kids who love each other:

When I find Luke and Lily hiding under her covers laughing hysterically.
When Emma and Lily play house and Emma lets Lily be the mommy.
When Luke's at the doc, store, or anywhere and someone gives him a prize he will always ask for three more.
When they hold hands so that they can be brave for shots or anything scary.

I love when they love each other.  I will love when they grow up and love each other.  I think this may be our new family verse...at least for awhile:

Proverbs 17:17 "Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble. (The Message)

How do you foster friendship and love between your kids?

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