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Monday, August 16, 2010

7 years later, 4 pounds lighter - pizza and chocolate for everyone!

First week in the books of trying to lose weight.  And I'm writing this 4 pounds lighter.  So yeah me!  How did we celebrate today?  Well with pizza and chocolate of course.  I know, I'm horrible - stop shaking your heads in disappointment people!

However, I have an excuse...a real one...no, really people hear me out:

Today is Dave and my 7th anniversary.  And my wonderful hubby of seven years came home with flowers today as a sweet surprise.  My kids went from screaming to completely silent as they saw Daddy bring in a huge bouquet for me.  Pretty cool.

I by no means am a marriage counselor or someone who claims to know ANYTHING about marriage beyond my own experience but today on this here seventh anniversary of mine, I feel compelled to share a tad of advice.

When Dave and I had first gotten married I hosted a woman's small group at my house.  One night all the women were over and I began to criticize Dave.  I was newly married and was struggling with reality versus my expectations - and I thought that women nagged on their husbands, so I felt it was ok.  I wasn't saying anything too bad or to naggy, but I was criticizing.

As I was getting some drinks for the ladies, a woman who I really looked up to took me to the side and said, "Melissa, you should really not criticize Dave.  You need to honor him, praise him, encourage him.  Your words should not take away from him, but add value to him."

Her words have stuck with me.

Now, I have caught myself engaging in nitpicking sessions and I stop myself (most of the times) but I realize the power in what she said to me that night.

I was reminded of that truth this week as I was reading some blogs where women were (understandably) frustrated with their husbands.  They shared their frustrations on their blogs.  Some have shared their frustrations and irritations on facebook.  And as easy as these outlets are to dispense all of our pent up anger, we need to be careful.  We need to be careful that our words, even if we feel justified, are not tearing our husband down.  We need to be cautious that our words, our actions, our blogs, our walls, our conversations are speaking life into our marriages and not tearing them down.

Also, our children are watching and listening.  They are listening to how you speak of each other, how you speak regarding their dad - how you portray "family life" to people who aren't a part of it.  If you are disrespectful in your tone regarding your spouse, they will be disrespectful in their behavior towards your spouse.

Words can kill, but words can also bring life.

Are your words breathing life into your marriage?

9 comments:

Martha A.

Thanks for sharing that, Melissa....i needed that today.

Karen

Good post! very important message. Glad you shared it. Thanks for visiting my blog. Now following you!

Karen @ TheSonShinesThroughMe.blogspot.com

Lisa

What a wonderful post and so beautifully written. It bothers me too when women put their husbands down so openly through social media.
I did one about my husband recently that I think you'll appreciate:
http://raisingfutureleaders.blogspot.com/2010/08/dedicated-dads-im-in-spotlight.html

Lisa xoxo

~Dawn~

What a fun blog. I'm a new follower!! :)

Dawn
Mom-a-Logues

Me (aka Danielle)

What great advice. Truly.

P.S. Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I hope to hear from you again! I will be back to visit as well!

Me (aka Danielle)

P.S. Happy Anniversary! :)

Janelle

Happy Anniversary! This is a great post and you are so right. We should use our words to build our husbands up not tear them down. :)

Thank you for sharing.
Janelle
Sweet Tea and Giggles

DIY Girl

I would feel so bad about bashing my hubby on facebook! I read a cute post on One Nutty Girl that you might like: http://onenuttygirl.com/1621/does-your-husband-read-your-blog/

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I will be visiting you again:-)

Me (aka Danielle)

What great advice. Truly.

P.S. Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I hope to hear from you again! I will be back to visit as well!

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