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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Caution!!! Helicopter mom coming through...

I don't want to be that parent.

I know I shouldn't be that parent.

But alas, I find myself being that parent.

You know, the parent that is always close by, always ready to step in and rescue their child, always ready with the claws out to defend and protect against any wrong doing towards their offspring?

Ya, that's me.

Wonderful.

My kids, especially the older two, are quite capable little kids.  In reality, they don't need me hovering around - yet in my "I need to control everything, if I'm not I don't know how to breathe" way, I hover...

Yet again, me (gosh, seriously, I'm a slow learner...) with my beautiful controlling qualities.

Watch out people, because in a year when the twins go off to kindergarten, I am going to be an absolute mess.  They will be gone.  At school.  Without me to protect, correct, guide.  They will do so well.  I however, will be a mess...those will be fun blogs I'm sure.

Anyway, so you might be asking - what makes you think of this dear control freak?  Well, let me tell you.

This morning we went to a long time friend's house who has a boy the same age as Luke.  They of course were wrestling - as all little boys do.  And then, in true little boy fashion, Luke's buddy clocked him in the face.

Was Luke crying?  No.

Did Luke come running to me in pain?  No.

Did Luke even turn to me or give me any indication that he needed even a smidge of help from me?  No.

So, I just sat there quietly and let them work it out....

Of course that's not what I did people - I am a helicopter parent in recovery!

I went to him, treated him like a baby and acted like he was a victim (when he was clearly not since they were wrestling and not three minutes later he returned the favor to his friend and got him even worse than Luke got it.)

As I was participating in my helicopter-esque behavior, I wanted to gag myself.  Really do I want my son to have to run to me every time something goes awry? 

Do I really want my kids to feel powerless without my aid to fight their own battles, to overcome their own hurdles, to succeed individually?

No!  Yet, I hover.

Might as well add a propeller to my wardrobe...

Yuck.

You should see me at a playground.

No, really - I'm that mom.

Oh boy...

Hello, my name is Melissa and I am a helicopter parent.

Ok.  No more.  They shall fight their own fights...and I will leave them to figure out how to resolve conflict WITHOUT me - except when they do the punching...that's a different story.

But really, don't we all want to protect our kids?  Don't we all (once again grouping all you readers in with my dysfunction so as not to feel so bad about my abnormalities as a mother)want to save our kids from ever getting hurt?

Yet I know that it was when I've been hurt that I've experienced the greatest growth.

Ya - deep, I know...

Great in theory. 

Ok, putting down the jet pack...

4 comments:

Jessie

I am the same way - I can't help myself, I just can't stand the thought of someone hurting my child, or a situation happening and them not knowing how to handle it! I know I have to relax as well, but it definitely is hard.

I am a new follow, I saw your post on "Bloggy Moms" FB page, and decided to come look around.

Hope you can come and visit sometime :)

http://momvantage.blogspot.com
http://lifeonhaberway.blogspot.com

Kate

Found you on FB mummy bloggers rock. Really like your blog - great feel to it. Just joined up. I'm at http://katetakes5.blogspot.com if you have a spare 5 mins.

Martha A.

LOL! i was just trying to figure this out and my kids are older! i am trying to decide if I am being overprotective to not let my kids do certain activities or just common sense!!!

Kate

Found you on FB mummy bloggers rock. Really like your blog - great feel to it. Just joined up. I'm at http://katetakes5.blogspot.com if you have a spare 5 mins.

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