Awesome.
Today, as I was getting Will dressed upstairs, Lily and Luke got a fabulous idea of making a "milk shake" together.
I walked downstairs (because now I know silence means everything but gold in my home) and found the biggest salad bowl we have filled with milk that they had shaken (hence the milk SHAKE) sitting in the fridge and my kitchen floor covered with milk from where the shaking had occurred. The empty milk gallon just laid there.
Emma just stood there watching the chaos, continually repeating, "I'm good Mommy! I'm good! Not bad like Lily and Luke!" Yes, Emma you are good...as are they - you just happened to not be in the mixing group. But Emma saved her little moment for when I was trying to get the kids dressed and she argued with me over EVERY SINGLE piece of clothing I handed her today. She's 4...seriously.
So, I went to the gym. And I checked my kids into the child watch for 3 minutes shy of the entire two hours they allow and I worked my butt off. And I watched mindless grown up tv.
I love my kids - but I wish they would just obey. All the time. I hate HATE HATE disciplining, but it seems like it's all I do. They are so much fun when they are good. And seriously, why won't they figure out already that I am not trying to ruin all their fun - I'm just trying to raise them into decent human beings?!!??! But no, they continue to push the limits and let me tell you - 4 kids pushing against 1 mom all day...the odds are stacked against me.
Oh, my response to all this? I'm so patient and loving, graceful and merciful...or not. I lose my temper so fast - which is an AMAZING example...stellar mom moments happening all the time in my home!
Anyway, I just wonder if how I'm responding to their naughty behavior now will shape how they act and behave when they are teens? Am I screwing them up? Am I setting myself up for years of nightmarish behavior from them when they are teenagers?
So, I pray for patience - in front of them. I ask God for forgiveness for my anger - in front of them...and then turn to them and ask for their forgiveness. I pray that God will show me how to teach them and train them and mold their little hearts to be hearts that desire to obey...in front of them. And then I ask God to give me a heart of obedience to Him...in front of them.
And I work out...to get out my frustrations.
And I've lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks. HEY HEY!!!