I should probably stop going to the grocery store.
No, really - I'm. Not. Joking.
9 out of 10 times I leave asking myself why I put myself through such grueling torture for a gallon of milk and maybe some apples.
Yet, I continue going back. Darn that whole eating to survive thing.
Anyway, my darling children have picked up on Mommy's and Daddy's newest eating habits...and they don't think I'm trying to get skinny, they know undeniably that Mommy is just trying to get HEALTHY. Which, let's be honest will take my entire life since I will almost always, hands down, go for the ice cream before the celery. They also have taken mental notes regarding the foods that we have stated are bad and that we should really TRY to avoid. Such as Coke...and yes, even Diet Coke.
Over the last month or so, Luke has become emphatic about us drinking soda. He even wrote a note on our fridge that said,
BAD FOR YOU!
I didn't realize the importance of this subject until the other day...at the grocery store. Apparently, two or three weeks ago I told Luke that I would only have soda on days that were celebrations, ie. my birthday. I didn't think I was signing into a law abiding contract nor one that would have my integrity questioned if I didn't hold up my end of the bargain.
But the other day...it was hot (our 4th hot day of the year) and I so badly wanted a drink.
So while we were at the store, I decided to indulge in a Diet Coke. I know they are bad, but I really wanted one. When Luke saw, he began to fall apart.
He decided that right then and there, I would have an intervention in the middle of the store.
Huge crocodile tears began streaming down his face. He started to shake. His face twisted and turned in ways I had never seen before. His voice even reached tones I had never heard before. And then like a shaken up soda can (pun very much intended) he began to explode.
"YOU LIED! YOU PROMISED ME! YOU PROMISED ME! YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD STOP DRINKING!!!"
Yes, it was Saturday. Yes, the store was in fact completely packed. And yes, it seemed as though everyone stopped to see what was going on.
"IT"S BAD FOR YOU! I DON'T WANT YOU DRINKING ANYMORE! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD STOP DRINKING!"
No, I don't drink. No, I don't do drugs. No, I don't smoke cigarettes...but can you imagine if I did? Oh boy...No, I don't do anything that could land me in jail but I drink an occasional diet coke and in that moment people were looking at me like I was the worst mom...the lush that I am.
So, I promptly held up my drink in the air, just so any bystanders could see that the drink in question was of the carbonated variety and I did my best to calm him down. It didn't work.
I betrayed him. I broke his confidence in me. I lied to him....
This kid is seriously the coke nazi.
I have abstained from drinking (COKE!) for the last week and a few days ago, after the kids went to bed, Dave went and got us take out...including drinks. We sat there eating our food in silence, fearing the entire time that Luke would come down the stairs and catch us in the act...I didn't enjoy the diet coke. In fact, I drank it so fast that I didn't even taste it because the overwhelming knowledge of what would happen if he found out scared me...and then as quickly as we took it down we got rid of the evidence in the outside trash just in case.
I'm pretty sure I won't be drinking a soda for a long time. A long, long time.
And in case you need an intervention for someone in your life, you can get hold of Luke at my email. He will kill any addiction. Seriously.