Saturday, April 24, 2010

Because we are smelling the roses, that's why!

I am a planner.
In tenth grade my history teacher told us that if we were to write down our ten year goals, that within ten years most of those would be fulfilled.  So, that night I promptly went home and typed out my ten year plan.  And strangely enough, the majority of it had come to pass.  Pretty amazing.  However, there were a lot BIGGER accomplishments and trials and every day moments that happened within those ten years that I would have never dreamed about putting on my list at fifteen.
But that's me...always thinking about what's next.  And I tend to be in a hurry, probably to some extent because I am forced to be that way with my life and my VERY busy kids.  But I often find me telling myself, "SLOW DOWN!  Just breathe..."  Why does everything have to be so hurried - and yet I inevitably find myself trying to rush everything.
I remember when Luke and Emma were probably two and I was so frustrated because they weren't talking like all the "other" kids.  They would talk forever in their "twin talk" but normal words were not part of their vocabulary.  They would actually have conversations together and completely understand what was said as I would stand there confused at the first syllable.  And I desperately couldn't wait for the phase when they would talk.
Then they started talking - and with attitude.
And I thought to myself, "I was in a hurry for this?" 
Then I took a parenting class and they talked about when your kids reached the "why stage" to be as respectful of their curiosity as possible and keep in mind that they aren't (for the most part) challenging your authority when they ask why, but out of genuine wonder.  I was so excited for the twins to reach that stage, determined I would answer every why with a intelligible answer and NEVER say, "BECAUSE I SAID!"
Yesterday within five minutes, without exaggeration, I heard "why" probably 25 least.
I was in a hurry for this?
I did good for probably the first 15 whys until I couldn't handle it anymore and answered, "Because that's what God said and what He says goes."  To the why for that I answered, "BECAUSE I SAID!"  You would think by now I would be over saying, "I will never say/do that" because without fail I always do.
And then there is Baby Will.  My precious, strong willed warrior Will - My last baby who I am cherishing and clinging onto every moment of his babyhood.  Now that I am on my last go around I am determined to treasure every stage that he is in, enjoy the blessings of each stage and laugh through the challenges.  And yet, even tonight as I put him to bed he reached out for me for the first time and I almost missed it because I was so busy about my routine.  I almost missed even recognizing that a milestone had just occurred.  So, I stopped, took a deep breath and picked up my precious son.  He clung to me (this sounds so sweet, but really it's because he didn't want to lay in his crib) and I was reminded that right now I pretty much fulfill every one of his needs.  I nurse him, I can put him to sleep, I change him, I dress him - I can solve all his problems for him right now.  And really, right now that's where all my kids are for the most part.  Right now there is no problem too big for Mommy and Daddy to solve.  We are their superheroes.  And I have heard somewhere, that it doesn't stay that way for too much longer.
So I resolve to slow down.  Take some deep breaths.  Get on my knees and smell the flowers with my kids on our walks instead of urging them to keep walking.  I will enjoy these moments, because I know they go quick...too quick, and I don't want to take them for granted or miss them all together because I'm in too much of a hurry.  And I will remember this tomorrow as I answer why from two very inquisitive three almost four year olds what may seem like a million times - because right now they want to talk to me.  Right now they want my opinion.  Right now I can ingrain within them the virtues that are important in my answers to all their whys.  Right now I can reinforce that I am a person that they can always talk to - so maybe when that day comes when they have a why that seems insurmountable to them, they will come to me.
So breathe and enjoy the journey - really enjoy it.  Take it all in and treasure all the moments, good and bad and in between.  Focus on today and God will take care of the rest just like it says in Matthew 6:34:
 34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. (The Message)
Enjoy the flowers, they really do smell beautiful!


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