"God will only give you what you can handle." I love that verse in the bible. It's so comforting. Basically, that verse tells me that really God will never push me outside of my comfort zone, He will never challenge me, change and discomfort won't happen because I can't handle that and God knows it.
Wait, that's not a verse in the bible? Seriously?
I would like it to be, just as I am sure my mom wished "cleanliness is next to godliness" was part of the scriptures when I was a teenager.
But I think God gives us only what we can handle with Him. Which, Phillippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength," so basically to sum it up: Grab on to God TIGHT and hold on for the ride of your life.
Being a Christian doesn't mean life is full of rainbows and lollipops - it just means we have a hope and a future. Being a Christian doesn't mean our pantry will always be full and our vehicles will always be new and shiny - but it does mean that we have an inheritance waiting us that is larger than any earthly sum of money.
This weekend I felt like two worlds collided - and I, miss control freak extraordinaire, was TOTALLY and COMPLETELY not in control of ANY of it.
Saturday night I received an email that I wasn't expecting, well, ever.
My biological father who was never a part of my life due to choices he made had a daughter before me. I have always known she existed, but I never knew anything about her. I have wondered what it would be like my whole life to have a sister as well as my big brothers. But when I started having my own family, quite honestly I forgot about that. I have forgiven my father for the choices he made - yet have chosen to not have him be a part of my life and so her existence slipped my mind entirely. That is until Saturday night.
She found me on facebook and we have been chatting all weekend. Despite her circumstances, she seems to be a strong successful woman. I looked at pictures of a person I have wondered about my whole life. Dave teased me about being obsessed looking at pictures over and over again - but it was surreal to finally put that last piece of that whole puzzle together.
And then yesterday as I was standing in church, with my wonderful husband on one side of me and the family who became like my own and the closest thing to a dad I have ever had standing on the other side of me - I was overwhelmed with how richly God has blessed my life. I have a family who loves me, a husband who I adore, children who are wonderful, an extended family who are amazing, friends who are incredible and a God who has had His hand on me my entire life...even when it didn't feel like it.
I have suffered my fair share of pain and grief, but yesterday as I stood their singing "Amazing Grace" I got a glimpse of the purpose of it all and was reminded that when God orchestrates my life - it truly is amazing.