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Saturday, March 6, 2010

Hubba Hubba

My husband and I have been married for six years, and because it's us, those six years have been full of ups and downs like we would have never imagined on our wedding day. Buying homes, being poor, infertility, having twins, having another baby thirty minutes later it seemed, Dave getting sick, moving, moving back, another baby, him being sick...and on and on it goes.
Before our sixth anniversary we had four children, lived in two states and our whole life looked different than we had imagined it to look like only a few years earlier. In the craziness of our lives we put our marriage on autopilot and haven't stopped yet to refuel or regroup. And the disconnect was really frustrating me - more than it has before, and I finally started praying to the Lord about it. And my prayers were answered.
Our church just started a sermon series on marriage and I also found Mars Hill Church online. The pastor did a sermon series called "The Peasant Princess." It is based on the Song of Songs and it has blessed Dave and I tremendously so far. It has opened up lines of communication and refocused us on what's truly important.
Which leads me to my question - in being mom all day, do you find yourself forgetting or neglecting your other, more important roles?
I know I do. As Christian women our priorities should be:
1. God
2. Spouse
3. Kids
4. The rest...(which includes Facebook and cell phones and all that stuff which has become my new addiction)
Often times I find myself putting my priorities like this:
1. Kids
2. The rest
3. Spouse
4. God
No wonder I have felt a disconnect from Dave! He's not where he's supposed to be on my list of priorities. Nor is God, and since He's the giver of all good things I really need to focus on putting Him first.
Just in the last week since Dave and I have been refocusing and re-prioritizing our life our kids have taken notice. They notice that Mommy and Daddy are talking more, and being more affectionate. They notice that we are laughing together and generally seem happier.
When our kids are secure that Mommy and Daddy are doing okay, they feel the freedom to be kids. But kids are so aware, and if they feel that there is some unrest with Mommy and Daddy they will respond with uncertainty and acting out.
I encourage you as moms to consider your priorities this week and re-prioritize if necessary. Our kids, as it has been proven statistically, do so much better when we as Mommy and Daddy are loving each other in real practical ways and not just in words. How are you doing with that?

2 comments:

Angela Gifford

That is so tough, isn't it. I can say that year six wasn't great for us. We had a lot of those auto pilot years, and it sure is amazing how much effort it takes to make things good. I have to say that this year has truly been the best for us. 13 years! It is only God that has kept us together through the auto pilot years. He is so good!

Aaron and Amber

We also love Mark's messages for marriage! We have been married 5 years, moved 2 times and had 3 kids in 4 years of marriage! Fun, wonderful , busy, amazing times! :D By the way, I am a neighbor to the south (Down my Plummer!)

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