Thursday, June 23, 2011

Grown up and Glamorous? Ok, maybe not yet...

I am turning 30 in 18 days.

18 days.

I'm actually quite excited.  30 seems grown up.  I will, by my own definition, finally be a grown up.

Which got me thinking...pondering...mulling over what that means.

WOMAN - for some reason that word has always freaked me out. I don't know why...but it always has.  Now, I remember when I stopped referring to Dave as a great "guy" and started referring to him as a great "man."  But me, a woman?  Really? 

When I was 23 and newly married, I would look at my friends who were in their early thirties and would imagine what it would be like to be that age.  They were so beautiful...and put together.  Not necessarily just physically, but inwardly as well. 

And now, I'm almost there.

I've spent the last 6, nearly 7 months, losing weight.  I've lost a little over 30 pounds.  That's fitting, eh?  Anyway, I'm thinner (which is great) but that's the end of the story.

I feel like inwardly, I'm doing well.  I think I'm mature (most days) and I'm constantly being pruned and shaped by God (every day) and then it stops there.

I was never a girly girl.  I was definitely a tom boy.  I hated dresses.  Now, I have two little girls - one who is the epitome of a girly girl and another one who likes to wear a tutu over her jeans and a baseball hat while covered in mud.  But they both look at me.  They both take notice when I do my hair (however I manage to do it) and when I actually put on make up (however I manage to do it) and they love when I do it. 

But seriously people, I'm lost.

I would like to be pretty.  I would like to feel feminine...especially now that I'm actually thin(ner).  But where do I start?
Ok, so we were making decorations for a bday party, but get the point

I know this isn't seventh grade health class, but I have no idea. 

What clothes? 

What hairstyle and color (and let's be practical here - I can not, nor will I spend more than 20 minutes on my is a threat to my home and all my neighbors if I am preoccupied for longer than that.)

What make up (and please don't sell me a brand...I don't even know what products to buy let alone a brand right now)

What shoes (and once again, be practical...I cannot run after four children down my street while flying a kite and molding a meat loaf in stilettos - although, that would be amazing)

Help a sistah out.

I want my daughters to look at me and I want to show them what beauty is, genuine modest strong beauty.  And I'm not thinking jeans and a t-shirt with my hair pulled back every day is shouting "FEMININE!!!" 

Oh, and please take note - I like to play with my children.  I like to get on the ground and play...all my jeans have holes in the knees...

Ok, ready - give me suggestions!!!


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