Monday, June 13, 2011

Obedience and finally feasting!

I went to college to get my MRS degree.  I admit it.

But that day will forever stand out in my mind.  The day when I was walking to the grocery store from campus and God spoke loud and clear to my heart, "Melissa, right now I'm not calling you to be a mom and a wife.  Right now I'm calling you to speak for me."

So, I obeyed (which is rare for me...I wonder where my kids get it from.)

Then, a couple years later, another day that will forever stand out in my memory.  I was driving home from Nashville for the holidays before I flew to Phoenix to sign a speaking contract with a company when God spoke loud and clear to my heart, "Melissa, right now I'm not calling you to speak, I'm calling you to start a family."

So, I obeyed (please in no way think that this is standard operating procedure for me...for it definitely is not.)

Now, almost ten years later, in the most uncomfortable of times, God is speaking loud and clear to my heart, "Melissa, now I'm calling you to do both."

This time friends, I have not obeyed.  In fact, I have disobeyed.

Ok, my kids get it from me.  For certain.  Those little monkeys have definitely received the strong willed, stubborn, defiance from me.  Acceptance is half the battle, right?

I have disobeyed for a year now.  I have ignored God.  I have told Him and myself that I am quite busy enough let alone to take on something else.  When people have told me that my family is my ministry (which it is) I have allowed myself to accept that my family is my ONLY ministry.  I have volunteered in a ministry that I know I'm not called to so I can have one more reason as to why I'm too busy.

But I can't disobey any longer.

I am so hungry for God right now.  I'm desperate for Him in my life, in my family, in my friend's lives.  I want to see families healthy, broken and hurting families restored, children seeing the power of God's forgiveness and grace in action within their families.

So, I'm going to start putting myself out there to speak again the message that God has laid upon my heart.  Maybe no one will respond.  But at least I will know I obeyed- with a happy heart.

Recently, a friend posted a link to this blog post: One Habit That Changes A Family So, I clicked and read while my kids ran around the house screaming, laughing, fighting, and loving each other.  I thought it was nice.  Very well written.  The words she wrote nestled in my heart and then on Sunday I went to church where the pastor preached on man not surviving on bread alone but by the word of God.  I realized, that despite my great efforts, I was hungry.  I've been snacking on the word of God, but not feasting on it.  Instead, I've been feasting on other things like my desire for control, my fear, my laziness.

That night at dinner, after talking with Dave about it, I informed my kids that after dinner from now on - after we had fed our bodies, we were going to be feeding our hearts by reading the bible.  Now, that looks like a child's devotional bible for our family right now, but it's the word of the Lord none the less.  After the first night of devotions, I shut the bible and excused the kids from the table.  Luke looked at me and said, "That's it Mommy?  My heart is still hungry for more."

Is your heart hungry for more?  Is God calling you to do something that you've been resisting?  If it is, I leave you with this post from my pastor Jim Putman this last week on Facebook:

What if we lived scripture out for the next year?  What if we lived out what we said we believed in every part of our lives...what would happen after one year...what would we have experienced what would our world look like if we lived out what we said we believed...oh I know we couldn't perfectly, but what if our heart was to read and do by God's power?

So, I am compelled to see what happens.  I am compelled to throw myself at the feet of Christ and allow myself to be an offering to Him - and see what happens.

Will you join me?

Is your heart hungry for more?


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