Sunday, June 5, 2011

Please. Please? PLEASE!!!

"Mommy!  Mommy!  Help me with my jammies!"
I rolled over, looking into my three year old little girl's eyes standing on the side of my bed.

My day had begun.

I proceeded to stumble down the stairs where my husband and two boys were watching cartoons (Luke, my 5 year old, knows that on church day Mr. Rogers comes on at 6 AM...he always overshoots by an hour and today was up at 5.)  I hadn't even sat down on the couch to fully wake up when the barrage of requests started to pour in.

"Mommy, I'm hungry,"
"Mommy, I'm thirsty."
"Mommy, I want a new shirt."
"Mommy, I want my toy."
"Mommy, can we go to the park today?"

As a mommy of four little ones who are all very demanding children who have no problem deciding on what they want - I'm constantly being asked to do things and for things.  Most of the time I can handle it, but today, for some reason, maybe lack of sleep, my tolerance was extra low.

I finally had enough shortly after dinner had commenced and I was being asked for what I felt was ridiculous things, when I decided I had had enough.  I walked upstairs to my room, locked the door, and left the jungle for a bit....well, I didn't leave the jungle...I just hid away in my cave.

In the muted noise of my home, I began to think.  I was quickly reminded of how blessed I am to have the noise I have.  There are some women who desperately want to hear the noise in my home and for some reason, never get to.  There are other mommies who just lost the noise in their home due to the tornadoes, and one family who just lost their two precious boys in Piedmont, Oklahoma.  Their loss has been at the forefront of my mind for the last week or so and has constantly offered me perspective when I've found myself getting frustrated and ungrateful.

And then, with my heart and mind in a bit more grateful of perspective, I thought about how I am just like my kids with my Father.

It seems as if when I pray, especially over the last 4 months, I'm a wanting, asking, whining child.  I feel like I'm constantly asking God for stuff...begging in fact.  I wonder if God gets as irritated by that as I do.

I found myself thinking today, "Do my kids even know how to just be with me or am I just a caretaker and getter and giver of all things?  Can they just be with me, or do I constantly have to be fulfilling some need they have?"  I wonder if God thinks that about me.

Do I ever just thank God for being God?

Do I ever just sit with God, in silence, enjoying the fact that I'm in His presence?  Or do I always have to ruin it by constantly requesting stuff?

Well, I'm off to bed - exhausted...but just some food for thought.


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